


late night rides

by sasakiarisu



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Brief Mention of Kamikizaka Reni, M/M, Set after GODZA Audition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 09:28:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27348904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasakiarisu/pseuds/sasakiarisu
Summary: He remembers the times they went for road trips like this, too, spent the night with each other, practicing and acting. He remembers riding with Tasuku to do street acts when they were short on cash, and all those memories only made the present painful. A tear slips out from the corner of his eye but he shakes his head a little to get rid of it. He can't cry in front of him. Heshouldn’tcry in front of him.
Relationships: Takatoo Tasuku/Tsukioka Tsumugi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	late night rides

He folds the last of his clothes and places them inside the luggage before he heaves out a sigh. He had been cleaning his apartment and preparing for his move tomorrow morning, and he was in the process of finishing it already. There was an unsettling feeling in his chest, one that feels like a huge boulder stuck inside, and it felt heavy. Tsumugi glances around, sees the boxes where he kept the paraphernalia he'll bring with him tomorrow, sees how bare his place looks like right now. It looked so empty, and it made him feel hollow. He sighs once more closes the luggage and sets it aside, and averts his gaze somewhere else. On his nightstand was a framed picture of him and Tasuku from their uni days. It was after a performance they starred in together, and his best friend looked really fulfilled in this one. Tsumugi takes the frame in his hand and stares at it. And the more that he gazed at it the more the reality sunk in him.

He's leaving Veludo tomorrow.

And he's leaving Tasuku along with everything.

He walks to one of the boxes and gently places the picture frame in it. His eyes linger there a little more before he turns back and heads to his bed. The blue-haired male lies down and stares at nothingness, waves of emotions drowning him. He feels so unsure right now, unsure of his decisions, unsure if it's fine to just give it up like that, unsure if it was right to just run away and leave like this. He feels so crushed, his dreams all shattered like glass. He doesn't have anything to do here now, and he wants to forget. He wants to forget everything that happened, and this was the solution he found. If he left, he can start anew, with different people and surroundings. If he left, things will be better. Yet he was still here, hesitating.

Is he really just going to run away?

And is he really gonna leave Tasuku like that? 

_“You aren’t suited to be an actor,”_ Kamikizaka Reni’s words echo in his head the way it did ever since he came to that audition. His voice was full of venom, of poison, enough to kill off his dream. _“You think what you did was called acting? Do you think you deserve to stand on this theater’s stage? Even someone who’s new to this can pull off what you did. Don’t you think you’re just dragging Tasuku with that acting of yours?”_

No, Tsumugi can't bear the guilt to be the one pulling Tasuku down. 

And so, he's leaving. Not only for his sake, but for his best friend's, too. 

He lays down on his bed, closing his eyes. He hoped to get some sleep, but his phone buzzed from his nightstand, notifying him. The tired male reaches for the gadget and unlocks the screen, and a message notification from his best friend greets him.

 _“Hey, I’m outside your apartment,”_ the message reads. Tsumugi sits back once again, contemplating whether he should meet him or just ignore the text.

He's not even sure if he has the strength to see him before tomorrow. 

His phone rings once more, this time with a call. a sigh escapes his lips as he presses answer. 

_“Hi, Taa-chan.”_

_“Did you receive my message?”_

_“I did.”_

_“Can you come outside?”_

_“Yeah, I’ll be there in a few.”_

He slips into his slippers and walks to the door. Grabbing the knob, he takes a deep breath, still debating if he should come out and go. Tsumugi decides that maybe it's fine to see _him_ one last time. After all, they might not be able to spend time together anymore after tomorrow. 

He sees Tasuku waiting with his motorbike when he finally arrived outside. 

"Sorry for taking long," he apologizes, as Tasuku just shrugs it off. 

"It's fine," he replies. Tasuku looked brighter and Tsumugi can't bring himself to look directly at him. It hurt, to think that he wouldn't be able to see that expression up close anymore. 

"What makes you come here? It's pretty late, you should be resting by now."

"Let's go for a ride," his best friend suddenly proposes.

"Right now?" 

"Yeah," Tasuku gets on the vehicle, starting the engine. "Hop on." 

"Are you really sure about—" 

"Just get on it," sighing, Tsumugi rides the bike and wraps his arm around the other's body. 

The breeze brushed past against their faces as Tasuku sped along the highway. It should've felt refreshing, yet it only made the aching inside his chest worse. He remembers the times they went for road trips like this, too, spent the night with each other, practicing and acting. He remembers riding with Tasuku to do street acts when they were short on cash, and all those memories only made the present painful. A tear slips out from the corner of his eye but he shakes his head a little to get rid of it. He can't cry in front of him. He _shouldn’t_ cry in front of him. He can't appear to be vulnerable in front of Tasuku. That will just hinder his friend from reaching where he should be.

And Tsumugi can't afford that to happen. 

Soon enough, they arrive at the park they used to frequent back when they were younger. Nostalgia suddenly hits him like a truck and all the memories of their past flash back in his mind. He remembers how they used to play a lot here, how they played in the sandbox, ending up getting reprimanded for coming home dirty and untidy. He remembers how Tasuku comes here to practice soccer at times, and how he ends up getting dragged to help him with his drills. He remembers that one time that his parents scolded him and he ran away, and how Tasuku found him here. He remembers his younger self being comforted by the guy with him right now, remembers how he managed to make him smile by reenacting some of their roles. Tsumugi remembers a lot of things coming back to this place, and they all just contribute to the growing pain in his heart. 

"It's been so long, huh?" Tasuku quietly says, settling down on a swing. Tsumugi follows suit and takes the swing beside the other.

"It hasn't changed so much," he remarks, glancing around the place. Memories flood his mind and they're all too much, but he can't appear to be vulnerable right now. 

"We used to practice here back then," his best friend says, and he recalls those times that they spent exchanging lines and polishing gestures. Both of them were so passionate about acting and that love grew, even more, every time they act together. 

Tsumugi feels his lips quiver, but he swallows it back and lets out an inaudible sigh. A little smile formed on his lips, but it wasn't anything out of happiness. "People look at us weirdly whenever we rehearse. It was kind of embarrassing, but it felt just right, too." 

"Yeah." 

The two of them became quiet after that. The creaking sounds from the swing resonated through the air, as well as the distant honking of the cars from the highway. The night was already deep and the environment was peaceful. It felt serene— or supposed to be, especially with the night breeze whispering against their skin, yet only turmoil resided in his heart. Tasuku was only a few inches away from him, but it seemed as if he was miles away from him. He can just easily touch him if he outstretched his hand, yet at the same time, he felt so far that he can't reach out. And that fact hurt him. 

"Why," it comes out almost as a whisper, but his best friend hears it. The other turns around to look at him and he finds it even harder to speak with his eyes on him. There are a lot of why's that he wanted to ask, not only to his companion but also to himself, but all he can manage was, "Why did you bring me here?" 

Tasuku was taken aback by the question. He looks away when it finally sinks on him and remains quiet. The man appeared as if he was contemplating something, as if he was debating with himself over it. In the end, he replied, "Nothing. The night just seemed nice for a ride, so I thought about asking you." 

"Oh," he hums, but he knows there was something more to it. He just didn't want to push the topic anymore.

Silence fell between the two of them once more. The air felt heavy with the things they left unsaid, but Tsumugi thinks that this is for the better. He's a coward for doing this, and for running away from everything, but it's for both his and Tasuku's sake. If he's the one holding him back from reaching the place where he's supposed to be, then he's willing to let him go. He knows Tasuku is better off without him, so he'll just move away from him. _Even if their separation pains him a lot._

"Tsumugi, I—" the other speak up, but he cuts him off instead.

 _“Thank you, Tasuku,”_ he mumbles. His eyes were stinging with tears and his chest feels tight but he's trying his best to hold himself back from crying. Blue eyes meet with the other's violet ones, and Tsumugi musters up a smile at that. "I'm so glad I met you." 

"Why are you suddenly saying that?" Tasuku looks at him with concern. He just smiles at the guy. 

"Nothing. I'm just really happy that you're here beside me. That's all." 

His best friend doesn't say anything, but he can see a faint smile forming on his lips at his words. They both glance at the skies, admiring the glowing moon and the twinkling skies one last time, before deciding to go home. As they rode along the highway once more, Tsumugi tightens his embrace around Tasuku, burying his face deeper on his back. Tears escape his eyes again but unlike before, he doesn't rub them away. He just wants to relish this warmth before he leaves tomorrow morning. He wants to make most of the time left with Tasuku because, after this night, there wouldn't be moments like anymore. 

The smaller male embraces the other even snugger at the thought.

As they arrive in front of his apartment, he gets off the motorcycle— reluctantly, hesitantly untangles himself from the other. He doesn't want this moment to end yet.— and smiles at the guy. Tasuku looks at him as if he still wants to stay a little, as if he still wants to tell him something. Yet all he could say was that he's going. 

"Hey, I'll head home now," the man bids him goodbye a bit slowly, like he's finding the words to say. Like those weren't the words he meant to say.

"Thank you, Taa-chan," _for everything, for letting me dream, even if I couldn’t fulfill them with you,_ remained unsaid, hanging in the air. He doesn't want to tell him goodbye yet, he doesn't want to let him go yet. _But it’s what he needs to do now._ "K-Keep safe."

"Yeah," the male replies. _“See you, Tsumu.”_

And those words broke his heart.

As Tasuku rides and leaves, Tsumugi only watches, until he couldn't see him from the distance anymore. He lets the tears he's holding trickle down his cheeks before he wipes them away with his arm. He still has an early morning tomorrow so he better rest now. _Although he doubts he’ll get a wink of sleep tonight._

 _Goodbye, Tasuku,_ he glances once more at the road, eyes sullen and dull, before he opens the door to his unit and enters. _I hope that one day, we’ll be able to cross each other’s path again._

And he shuts the door close.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!!


End file.
